You Ask How?

Sudden death leaves no possibility of preparation. It falls unannounced and causes misunderstanding in adults and children alike. How can they be accompanied in times of mourning when many questions torture them? There are tragedies that suddenly change the lives of entire families: a father who kills himself in a car, a teenager who falls in the mountains, a child who drowns in the sea... And if suffering is always unbearable, it seems even more incomprehensible when it falls abruptly, without warning. What "why" then spring up, especially in the mouths of children. And one feels powerless to respond, especially if one is plunged into disarray or revolt. However, children need to be able to question and question us, very freely, without "taboos" ... and they will only do so if they feel that we are ready to accept all their questions. Listen to the child before answering questions To accept a child's questions is not to answer them first, but to listen to ...

At home, at work, on the highway... There are many opportunities to get angry. A capital vice that breeds multiple sins. Fortunately, it is always possible to tame one's anger so as not to carry it over to others. It's not always easy to be in control of a disobedient child, a narrow-minded spouse, a lazy colleague or a careless motorist. If you feel the anger rising in you or that aggression has already arisen, these tips will surely help you to keep your calm and stifle the rise of your anger.

"The leader is often seen as the best of us, but it's not true: he's the one who can lead others towards a goal," Ircom Leadership Chair Benjamin Pavageau told Aleteia, in partnership with Turningpoint, and author of "Really Developing Leadership." "You're not born a leader, you become a leader," said Warren Bennis, an American academic who served as an adviser to Presidents John Fitzgerald Kennedy, Lyndon B. Johnson, Gerald Ford and Ronald Reagan. "We need to become the person we are capable of becoming and enjoy this process." If for a long time the image of a born leader was dominant in society, this is no longer the case. Leadership is acquired and learned. Benjamin Pavageau, PhD in Management Sciences and Director of Executive Education at Ircom, has just published his leadership at Vuibert Publishing. He returns to Aleteia on the nature of leadership and how giving and commitment are the heart of it. Aleteia: What is a leader...

Should we scold or punish our children, young or teenagers? This is the question many parents are asking themselves when benevolent education is on the rise. One of the hardest things in life, especially when you're young, is that there are sanctions. No one likes to be scolded, reprimanded or punished. There is something revolting about being punished for what we have done. We still believe that we have extenuating circumstances. We would like to have a right to error. We want to get the best out of it. As we move forward in life, we realize that the road is fraught with sanctions. There are some rewards, but we mostly find a lot of blame and punishment. Moral conscience First, we face the inevitable consequences of his actions. We know that driving while drunk or driving can be punished by an accident and lead to the worst disasters. Punishment does not come from men, but from reality itself. Dreaming of a world where you could do anything without consequence is the illusion ...

The awakening of children's faith is not only done by parents. The other members of the family (grandparents, uncles, aunts, cousins, etc.) are also called to take part in this important mission. Even if the role of parents in the education of their children's faith is paramount and irreplaceable, the place held by other members, more or less close, of the family should not be overlooked. Their mission is complementary to that of the parents. For the child to grow and build in peace and harmony, it is important that he can see his grandparents, uncles, aunts, and other family members, pray, participate in Mass and behave like Christians. At certain times, the child will be more sensitive to their example than to that of his or her parents. Give advice while respecting parents' choices When the child comes on holiday with his grandparents, for example, they learn about their eating, sleeping, etc. habits and needs. It is essential that they also do so with regard to his ...

Sometimes difficult to live with, loneliness is also a source of great wealth. We must learn not to fear it. Each of us may be alone at some point in our lives. This loneliness is felt more harshly in certain circumstances, after the holidays for example, which have seen the house fill up for a time, or when we find ourselves for the first time away from his family. We all experience moments of loneliness. The children themselves are no exception. It starts in the evening, if they do not share their room with a brother or sister. They are reluctant to go to bed, precisely because they fear being alone. However, this course is necessary, like all other experiences of loneliness, provided that they are progressive and adapted to each, according to his age and temperament. The benefits of loneliness On the walls of a convent, it was once written: "Too much loneliness kills, a little solitude sustains life." While it is essential for a child to learn to be alone, it is terri...

Few games combine a true sense of aesthetics, rules that amuse young and old, and rich content about Christian history. It's a great challenge for the designers of the new game "Mys'tic, the Saints of the Golden Legend". St. Anthony's Quay, St. George Street, the city of St. Stephen, the Bay of San Francisco, the paths of St. James of Compostela... The great saints who have contributed to the flourishing of Christianity are everywhere! And yet their hectic, often heroic life remains largely unknown to us. That's why Véronique Muzio, a dynamic mother of five from Lyon, designed the fourth game in her range, dedicated to the Saints of the Golden Legend. "We need to know the saints to understand the world we live in. In creating Mys'tic, I wanted to bring a beginning of meaning to all these elements that surround us and that are kneaded with Christianity," she explains to Aleteia. An idea that came to him while looking at the ceiling of the Baroque...

More and more men and women are asking themselves the question of the good priorities in their couple and with their children. Is the balance between work, couple and children fair? Is it logical that a spouse should devote himself primarily to his career, when the art object that God entrusted to him is still unfinished? It's all about dosage. "No, Obelix, you won't have a magic potion, you fell into it when you were little." Obelix is strong, very strong. And that's normal, because he received a huge amount of magic potion in his childhood. Somehow I feel a bit like Obelix, because I too fell as a child in a "magic potion": I saw the love of my parents, their effort to give themselves to each other... a whole art! But on top of that, I also received a lot of love and attention from them. And that makes you strong, very strong. My mother was present, just present. I am fortunate to have had a mother present not only physically, but also psychologicall...

Teaching our children to deal with frustrations and express their disappointments constructively is certainly one of the biggest challenges of parenting. So many moans and laments before you get there! This exhortation of St. Paul to the Philippians can prove very useful in these situations! The incessant bickering between brothers and sisters goes hand in hand with learning social codes and virtues such as patience, mutual understanding and self-control. It is not possible to escape the toil (and graces) that these essential learnings entail for the lives of our children. But we can use different tools to achieve this, such as this Bible verse that children can memorize: "Finally, my brethren, all that is true and noble, all that is right and pure, all that is worthy of being loved and honored, all that is called virtue and which deserves praise, all this, take it into account." (Ph 4, 8) This phrase that St. Paul addresses to the Philippians can be for our children a re...

The young child has this incredible ability to marvel at everything. But what happens when he grows up? His capacity for wonder, which assumes slowness and observation, seems to have disappeared, to give way to the frenzy: frenzy of rhythms of life, frenzy of consumption, digital frenzy. How can one preserve, in an increasingly hectic environment, one's own capacity to marvel? "This simplicity of the soul, we dedicate our lives to acquiring it, or to finding it if we have known it, for it is a gift of childhood that most often does not survive childhood... Once you're out of childhood, it takes a very long time to get back in," says Georges Bernanos to the Priory of the Carmelite Dialogue, considered his spiritual testament. For the Catholic writer, holiness consists in reappropriating, at the end of a long inner journey, this disposition of the soul with which we were born and which we lost growing up, characterized by innocence, simplicity, joy, abandonment, and wo...

Depression is thought to affect 300 million people worldwide. This disease is difficult for those who suffer from it. Even if he doesn't always say it, he needs support to get better. Depression isolates deeply. The depressed person may be hurt or exasperated by certain words and gestures felt as indelicate on the part of those around him. Here are ten things to do if you want to help a loved one with depression: Around the world, millions of you are reading Aleteia, to find something unique: a vision of the world and your life inspired by the Gospel. It is argued that it is increasingly difficult to pass on Christian values to today's youth. And yet, do you know that more than half of Aleteia's readers are 18 to 35 year olds? That's why it's so important that Aleteia remains a daily service, free and accessible to all. However, quality journalism has a cost that advertising is far from covering. So, in order for Aleteia to continue to transmit Christian values...

Christmas usually rhymes with family and children. This is not always easy for singles. Here are some ideas for a more serene December 25th. "This year, I'm going to celebrate my first Christmas alone with my parents," says Cecile with a hint of apprehension. At almost 30 years old, this nurse is now the only single in a sibling of four. Until last year, the family home was not empty around December 25, "the only occasion of the year when we were all together," recalls the young woman. But this time, his brothers and sisters will celebrate Christmas in their in-law. If Cecile doesn't blame anyone and gets along "very well" with her parents, she still dreads this period a little: "I feel that I don't approach this party as usual, in joy." Arthur, 35, goes further. "The approach to Christmas stresses me a little more every year!" Single, too, he hardly lives the long festive meals where his sisters and brothers-in-law ...

Have you ever noticed that car trips with children are often precious moments of intimacy? How many things can be said in the car! We are very close to each other, but we do not see each other. And if the passenger sits in the back, any car is worth a confessional... After years, I still hear a small, strangled voice saying in a tone that was meant to be detached: "By the way, the 10 euros you've been looking for, I think I'm the one who took them." This difficult confession, would I have been made face to face in a room? Starting a conversation is as easy in the car as anywhere and if the fish doesn't bite, it's easier than anywhere else to "drop out," the course incidents that allow no one to change the subject without any inconvenience. In large families where it is so rare for a child to be left alone with a parent for a conversation that will not be heard or interrupted, this type of journey can only be beneficial. The art of initiating a fran...

Continuing the work of Professor Jérôme Lejeune, whose life has always been "in the service of the true", as his friend Pope John Paul II pointed out, the Jérôme Lejeune Foundation has set itself three objectives that complement each other: to seek, care for and defend the people with a genetic intelligence disease. This crucial commitment requires support in several ways. It's a fight he's fought all his life. Professor Lejeune, a world-renowned geneticist, has chosen to put his skills at the service of the dignity of life. A struggle that continued after his death with the creation, in 1995, of the Jérôme Lejeune Foundation. For more than twenty years, she has pursued with determination her work and commitments: research on intellectual disabilities of genetic origin (trisomy 21, Fragile X, cat cry disease, Rett syndrome, Angelman syndrome, Williams Beuren etc.), reception and care of people with these pathologies through a specialized medical consultation, defend...

Christmas is fast approaching. The prospect of traveling miles to find your families, the haunting of watching and eating — too much — does not enchant you, so tired. Don't panic and follow some common sense tips to get to Christmas that's happy and full of going. Click here to open the slideshow You see it every day more, the days get shorter, you are sorely lacking in light and sun. The arrival of the cold makes you more vulnerable. This first trimester is the longest of the school year, you had to put in place new habits to adapt to the changing rhythm of your dear blonde heads. And you can see the Christmas party fast approaching: gathering families, exchanging gifts and... microbes. To be in shape until next year and so that Christmas does not rhyme with irrational survival, follow the tricks of two professionals from Toulouse and Vauré (this is what the inhabitants of Lavaur, in the Tarn) are called: Florence de Le Rue, nutritionist and Marie-Odile Serès, naturopath.

Every day of Advent, Aleteia offers you to become a disciple of Christ by renewing your heart in a more loving heart. Today, Aleteia encourages you to reuse instead of throwing away. An act that, according to Pope Francis, "can be an act of love." Holey trousers, torn books, a worn bike... Sometimes we have the reflex a little too fast to throw in the dumpster what could be stitched, patched or repaired. On the contrary, Pope Francis in Laudato Si' urges us to "save creation through small daily actions" such as "reusing something instead of throwing it away quickly." He calls for our "generous creativity" to recycle what can be, and make it a family lifestyle. In practical terms, this concerns many areas: using fruit that is too ripe to make compotes or jams, and vegetables that are a little stunted to make soups, recovering cooking water to water plants, using tissue handkerchiefs. instead of tissues and towels instead of paper towels, repa...

Founded in Paris by Father Lecourt in 2002, the SkiSpi camp aims to allow young people aged 10 to 25 to go to the mountains for a week to ski... and give thanks. "It's an incredible experience that, every time I go there, energizes me in my faith," says 17-year-old Aleteia Balthazar, who is in her sixth Ski Spi camp. You may have already seen them hurtle down the slopes of the Clusaz or Serre-Chevalier during the February holidays, singing songs of praise. Each year, more than 300 young people, aged 10 to 25, take part in a SkiSpi camp. The principle is simple: "Allow teenagers to follow a week of spiritual retreat and friendly encounters in the privileged setting of the mountain." Balthazar, 17, is in his sixth camp. "I couldn't leave last year but I can't wait to go in February," he says. "I grew up in a Catholic family and I do Scouting," he says. "When I heard about this camp, it immediately seduced me. The first year I wen...

Every day of Advent, Aleteia offers you to become a disciple of Christ by renewing your heart in a more loving heart. Today, Aleteia invites you to spend less time on your smartphone and reuse these precious minutes to express your love to your loved ones. The French spend an average of 1 hour and a third time on the internet every day, according to Mediametry data. And it's not just to check the information, read Aleteia or buy a train ticket... No, no, no, no, no, no, no, It is social networks that turn out to be the most time-consuming activity. "Social networks, which become the first activity on the Internet, account for 1/5 of the time spent on the Internet," Mediametry analyses. According to our calculations, the French spend about 20 minutes a day on Facebook, Snapchat, Insta and company. 20 minutes! Largely time to make a cake for those you love, to play a game of small horses or to read a story to your child, to have a real quality time with your spouse, to ca...

You want to build vast projects, change your life and your family's life, maybe even the world, but don't know how to do it? Let yourself be guided by Saint Teresa of the Child Jesus. On the last page of the last notebook she writes, Saint Teresa of the Child Jesus makes a remark that should not go unnoticed. This remark is all the more precious because Sister Therese, exhausted, draws her from the depths of her energy. She has just said that she asks Jesus to draw him into his love as the iron chip is attracted to the magnet. Then meditating on the Gospel of Martha and Mary, she admires Mary's attitude at the feet of the Lord who "listens to her sweet and fiery word." Therese notes: " (This), all the saints understood this and especially perhaps those who filled the universe with the enlightenment of evangelical doctrine. Is it not in prayer that Saints Paul, Augustine, John of the Cross, Thomas Aquinas, Francis, Dominica and so many other illustrious fri...

Love failure, professional failure... Failure is scary. It is always difficult to live and accept, but it can be a great springboard to achieve happiness. Under certain conditions... We must not make an ideology of acceptance of failure. There is no need to fail to be happy. But it is a fact: we cannot fail. Failure is as an essential characteristic of human beings. For the German Benedictine, Anselm Gron, this painful experience can be a real opportunity for a rebirth, an opening to God and a chance for a new beginning and a real happiness. How do you define failure? Father Anselm Gron: In German, scheitern (fail) comes from scheit (log, piece of wood) and scheiden (cut, separate). To fail is to separate what was one. The unit breaks, the whole falls apart, the initial project fails to succeed and breaks apart. The word scheiden is used, for example, to signify the breakdown of a marriage: the couple divorces, separates. We also find this word in abschied, the "farewell...

Distribution of meals, animation of New Year's Eve with the homeless, marauding with prostitutes, visits of single people, imprisoned or even sick children ... If you want to volunteer on Christmas Day, it's not too late: associations need your arms for their actions. What if this year you went to the bedside of sick children in hospitals? Because parents of hospitalized children cannot be 100% present with them, because health care teams are often downsizing at the time of the holidays, many associations organize actions that call on volunteers in view to provide comfort and support to the sick and their families during this special Christmas. By contributing as a volunteer, children are not only filled with joy, but the teaching of Christ is made its own: "Amen, I tell you: every time you have done it to one of my youngest brothers, you have done it to me." (Mt 25, 39-40). Here are some clues: Created in 1987, the association Hand in Hand recruits volunteers t...

The first to come to contemplate the Child Jesus were simple shepherds. Like them, we are all invited to go to the nursery empty-handed, poorly. But how do you do it? The whole Gospel of Christmas speaks to us of poverty. Poverty of Joseph and Mary, humble servants of an immense mystery and who, far from home, do not even have a roof to offer to the Child who will be born. Poverty of the shepherds, seized with fear when the glory of the Lord manifests itself for them and who, unlike the Magi, have no treasure to give to Jesus. Poverty of God himself, whose divinity hides in our humanity and whose omnipotence consents to become total dependence; God who is the king of kings and yet, from birth, knows precariousness and, soon, persecution and exile; God who does not force anyone to welcome him, no more in the inns of Bethlehem two thousand years ago, than in our hearts today. When gifts overshadow Christmas We're going to celebrate Christmas: but in what way? Poorly? Even if we a...

Forgiveness or punishment? Be very strict or allow everything? The small and large decisions of daily education can sometimes be real subjects of repeated conflict within a couple. How do you get along with your spouse about raising children and ending the arguments? Few couples do not have the opportunity to confront each other in the upbringing of children at some point. Then the small (unpleasant) phrases that denounce the incompetence of the spouse rain: "It is not by letting our children do everything in life"; "You don't see that you are too strict a father, we are no longer in the Middle Ages"; "You always grumble at the children, I'm not going to add more"; "You are like your mother, a mother hen who passes everything to them"; Etc. However, it is possible to educate your children, without necessarily agreeing with your spouse on everything. Why all the fighting? Parents who deeply love their children strive to do their best....

If you welcome a newlywed or a bride into your tribe at Christmas, here are a few ways to ensure his good and happy integration among you. Christmas is rich in ancestral traditions and known to all, but also customs specific to each family. Customs that affect many areas: how to decorate the tree and the house, more or less measured abundance of the Menu of New Year's Eve, time of Mass, ceremonial opening of gifts, etc. These are all habits that are well-established in a family but are necessarily different from those of the newcomer's family of origin. So to avoid it being disconcerted by this new way of celebrating Christmas, it is difficult to have little attention towards it. 1 PROPOSE WITHOUT IMPOSING Without hammering the program in an authoritarian way, it is welcome to inform in advance of your family habits and customs: "This is what we usually do... "Here are the mass schedules, let's choose together," "when do you want to open the gifts?...

Every day of Advent, Aleteia offers you to become a disciple of Christ by renewing your heart in a more loving heart. Today, Aleteia invites you to find in service to others a source of fulfillment. Saint Camille de Lellis, Saint Vincent de Paul, Mother Teresa, Sister Emmanuelle, the spouses La Garaye, Follereau, Nottegar... and so many others have dedicated their lives to serving the weakest, the poorest and the sickest. A total application of the gospel and charity, to which Jesus Christ invites us: "Every time you have done it to one of my youngest brothers, you have done it to me" (Mt 25:40). At his installation Mass on March 19, 2013, Pope Francis had these humble words when talking about his papal mission: "Let us never forget that true power is service." Even if we do not have the vocation to go to the end of the world to heal the most desticent, there is no shortage of opportunities to serve others. And family life offers a magnificent condensed. Indeed, ...

It seems relatively simple to tell our children the truth about "normal" things, but when they are painful, such as illness, death, loss of a job... we are tempted to hide evil from them at all costs. Do you have to tell your children everything? Is all truth good to say? It is not permissible to do evil to make it a good. A good intention (for example: helping one's neighbour) does not make good or just a behavior in itself disordered (like lying). It's clear: you can't lie, even to protect a child. Lying distracts us from God, it closes our hearts and intelligences to its light. But the only real weapon we have to fight evil, the only effective protection we can offer our children, is God himself. To lie because we believe that there is no other solution is, in the end, to lack faith, in a way, is to say to God: "You ask me something impossible. I know what's best." When it is our duty to tell the truth, let us trust the Holy Spirit: It will neve...

Because the Christmas period symbolizes for the most part the family friendliness and abundance, it is particularly difficult for the poor. Isolated, without resources and without housing. As Pope Francis points out in his message on 13 June 2017 for the first World Day of Poverty, it is through concrete actions that we must "make the poor feel the warmth of love that breaks the circle of loneliness." Listening, sharing a friendly moment, exchanging around the Christmas meal can be an authentic act of love and solidarity essential not only for the frail, but also for those who dedicate time to them as volunteers. Many associations throughout France organize Christmas meals with the poorest people. It is not too late to make your contribution. Among them is the Sant'Egidio community or the Little Brothers of the Poor: 1. WITH THE COMMUNAUNT SANT'EGIDIO The Christmas meal with the needy is a tradition of the Sant'Egidio community. In 1982, a small group of poor...

In the couple, the way of loving is not at all the same. For a man, "no news is good news." For a woman, not at all... The needs are different depending on their respective nature. If we don't understand it in depth and if we don't associate God with it, then we risk going into a vicious circle. Not easy, but it's worth being a little heroic, don't you think? "Fabien is less and less open... We don't talk much," says Elise. "It doesn't open like it used to. And I miss it so much! Because I no longer have access to his inner person, to the intimacy of his heart, I sometimes feel suffocated... ». She even felt that her husband preferred to talk with the first comer, but not with her. As if a curtain had fallen between the two of them. He was coming home from work more and more later. And when she wanted to understand why, by admitting to her how much this situation hurt her, she reacted rather badly. Sometimes he even got up without a wo...

Distribution of meals, animation of New Year's Eve with the homeless, marauding with prostitutes, visits of single people, imprisoned or even sick children ... If you want to volunteer on Christmas Day, it's not too late: associations need your arms for their actions. For example: visiting prisoners. Deprived of their liberty, Christmas time is particularly difficult for prisoners, especially those whose distant families cannot come to visit them. Providing support and sharing with inmates the joy and depth of the Christmas mystery is a way to celebrate the birth of Christ, who also experienced prison. Unlike the attitude of those who sometimes too easily put stigmatizing labels on others, Christ's gaze is quite different. It breaks what separates, excludes and isolates. Everyone always has the opportunity to get up. Feeling compassion for those who suffer from lack of freedom may be this gesture that will help the prisoner visited to get up and take another path of life...