But why do men and women like it differently?
In the couple, the way of loving is not at all the same. For a man, "no news is good news." For a woman, not at all... The needs are different depending on their respective nature. If we don't understand it in depth and if we don't associate God with it, then we risk going into a vicious circle. Not easy, but it's worth being a little heroic, don't you think?
"Fabien is less and less open... We don't talk much," says Elise. "It doesn't open like it used to. And I miss it so much! Because I no longer have access to his inner person, to the intimacy of his heart, I sometimes feel suffocated... ». She even felt that her husband preferred to talk with the first comer, but not with her. As if a curtain had fallen between the two of them. He was coming home from work more and more later. And when she wanted to understand why, by admitting to her how much this situation hurt her, she reacted rather badly. Sometimes he even got up without a word and walked out of the room.
For his part, Fabien confided to me that he no longer recognized his wife. She was less and less attentive to her needs. She no longer recognized the efforts he made at work. The worst part, he told me, was his expressions, which were sometimes extremely violent. He could not bear this, to the point that he preferred to be alone rather than insulted. What happened with these bright spouses, those whom all called the prodigal couple? They who were the model of soul-sister, so they were complementary to each other?
Not much, actually... They both know the very simple reminder of their respective nature. Fabien is a man. Elise is a woman. Their way of loving is not at all similar. Their needs are different. Between them, most women solve their relationship problems in a sincere and open conversation, where we tell each other everything we think and feel, without hiding anything. They then try to understand the other and find a point of understanding in what unites them. They acknowledge their mistakes, they ask forgiveness each other.
When it is sincere and occurs without justification, this request for forgiveness is very important. It often ends with a few tears, we hug each other, and we're back.
As for men, they prefer to solve their problems without talking about them. They retreat alone to a place of silence to reflect... Better yet: when they can't find an obvious solution, they put it aside and end up forgetting it most of the time. Time passes, the storm runs out, and life goes on as if nothing had happened. They remember well that there was something... but nothing serious, because life is more important than our quarrels... They find it so much better not to hurt the other, to behave like gentlemen. These are the same ones that we will then see watching a football game together, everything will have been forgotten. It may seem a bit cartoonish, and yet that's really how it works... between men. But not in a couple, ah no!
These differences are wanted by the Creator, they are even necessary. For it is precisely in these differences that man discovers that he must go beyond his way of being, his way of loving. Thanks to the differences he will understand that it is made for self-giving:
"Man, the only creature on earth that God has wanted for himself, is fully fulfilled only by the sincere gift of himself." (Vatican Council II, Gaudium and Spes No. 24).
"Fabien is less and less open... We don't talk much," says Elise. "It doesn't open like it used to. And I miss it so much! Because I no longer have access to his inner person, to the intimacy of his heart, I sometimes feel suffocated... ». She even felt that her husband preferred to talk with the first comer, but not with her. As if a curtain had fallen between the two of them. He was coming home from work more and more later. And when she wanted to understand why, by admitting to her how much this situation hurt her, she reacted rather badly. Sometimes he even got up without a word and walked out of the room.
For his part, Fabien confided to me that he no longer recognized his wife. She was less and less attentive to her needs. She no longer recognized the efforts he made at work. The worst part, he told me, was his expressions, which were sometimes extremely violent. He could not bear this, to the point that he preferred to be alone rather than insulted. What happened with these bright spouses, those whom all called the prodigal couple? They who were the model of soul-sister, so they were complementary to each other?
Not much, actually... They both know the very simple reminder of their respective nature. Fabien is a man. Elise is a woman. Their way of loving is not at all similar. Their needs are different. Between them, most women solve their relationship problems in a sincere and open conversation, where we tell each other everything we think and feel, without hiding anything. They then try to understand the other and find a point of understanding in what unites them. They acknowledge their mistakes, they ask forgiveness each other.
When it is sincere and occurs without justification, this request for forgiveness is very important. It often ends with a few tears, we hug each other, and we're back.
As for men, they prefer to solve their problems without talking about them. They retreat alone to a place of silence to reflect... Better yet: when they can't find an obvious solution, they put it aside and end up forgetting it most of the time. Time passes, the storm runs out, and life goes on as if nothing had happened. They remember well that there was something... but nothing serious, because life is more important than our quarrels... They find it so much better not to hurt the other, to behave like gentlemen. These are the same ones that we will then see watching a football game together, everything will have been forgotten. It may seem a bit cartoonish, and yet that's really how it works... between men. But not in a couple, ah no!
These differences are wanted by the Creator, they are even necessary. For it is precisely in these differences that man discovers that he must go beyond his way of being, his way of loving. Thanks to the differences he will understand that it is made for self-giving:
"Man, the only creature on earth that God has wanted for himself, is fully fulfilled only by the sincere gift of himself." (Vatican Council II, Gaudium and Spes No. 24).
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