The car, my child's "confessional"
Have you ever noticed that car trips with children are often precious moments of intimacy? How many things can be said in the car! We are very close to each other, but we do not see each other. And if the passenger sits in the back, any car is worth a confessional...
After years, I still hear a small, strangled voice saying in a tone that was meant to be detached: "By the way, the 10 euros you've been looking for, I think I'm the one who took them." This difficult confession, would I have been made face to face in a room? Starting a conversation is as easy in the car as anywhere and if the fish doesn't bite, it's easier than anywhere else to "drop out," the course incidents that allow no one to change the subject without any inconvenience. In large families where it is so rare for a child to be left alone with a parent for a conversation that will not be heard or interrupted, this type of journey can only be beneficial.
The art of initiating a frank dialogue with one's child
Children who speak little are not always those who do not need to express themselves, on the contrary. They are often those who are very eager to be heard and understood. They want to exchange feelings and ideas. They are also the ones to whom the quality of the exchange matters the most. This is why, in a group, they are often mute, sometimes closed, and even slightly aggressive. These children need these car trips more than others. They then feel like they are for a few minutes — and quite naturally — the focus of their parents. However, they must know how to approach them without hitting them.
While it is important to ask questions, it is no less necessary to accept silences and reluctant answers, because "closed" children, both anxious to share and protect their inner wealth, revolt at the indiscretion as well as they are frozen in the face of indifference. But once they are confident, they can tell each other with a lot of ingenuity.
After years, I still hear a small, strangled voice saying in a tone that was meant to be detached: "By the way, the 10 euros you've been looking for, I think I'm the one who took them." This difficult confession, would I have been made face to face in a room? Starting a conversation is as easy in the car as anywhere and if the fish doesn't bite, it's easier than anywhere else to "drop out," the course incidents that allow no one to change the subject without any inconvenience. In large families where it is so rare for a child to be left alone with a parent for a conversation that will not be heard or interrupted, this type of journey can only be beneficial.
The art of initiating a frank dialogue with one's child
Children who speak little are not always those who do not need to express themselves, on the contrary. They are often those who are very eager to be heard and understood. They want to exchange feelings and ideas. They are also the ones to whom the quality of the exchange matters the most. This is why, in a group, they are often mute, sometimes closed, and even slightly aggressive. These children need these car trips more than others. They then feel like they are for a few minutes — and quite naturally — the focus of their parents. However, they must know how to approach them without hitting them.
While it is important to ask questions, it is no less necessary to accept silences and reluctant answers, because "closed" children, both anxious to share and protect their inner wealth, revolt at the indiscretion as well as they are frozen in the face of indifference. But once they are confident, they can tell each other with a lot of ingenuity.
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